Crushing down

I stand there watching my world came crushing down one bye one.

I couldn't do anything to it cause I'm weak and helpless.

I lay down my head and think for what I've done.

I cry as my world is going for a disaster.

I watch as my friends and families bashed on me.

I listen as my hobbies and interests go away.

I let my tears running down my cheek as I saw my loved one go.

I couldn't anything even when I try.

Fixing all these makes me weaker and weaker.

As there is no one else stands behind me.

I used to be loved and I used to love and I still do.

I couldn't let my hand loosen it's grip for the one I love.

Yet, I can only watch as she walks away.

My friends and families couldn't understand me.

All they ever say was "There is someone better".

How could I find someone better when she was the best for me?

My heart chose her.

My brain agrees.

All I ever wanted is to have her back.

Even if I die trying.

I'd do anything to have the one I love.

Even if it takes eternity.

That's how much I love you Intan Norhasyimah.

Only god knows how much it is.

Lost and lose

Sup' dudes and dudettes.

It's been one month now since I went to ILP Jitra and it's freaking me out.

It's not about the education that's freaking me out.

It's what happened to me that's freaking me out.

Last week, I lost my bike (CBR) to my own brother who is too selfish for himself.

I wanted to use the CBR last week and I text him the evening before I came home but he didn't reply.

At about 8.30 pm, when we (me and my friend, Daus) were already on the way, I text him to tell that we were on the way to pick the bike up.

By then he replied back.

He's not giving the bike.

I told him that I need to use it.

He didn't reply.

We arrived at his apartment and I didn't told him that we've arrived but I went for a search instead.

We searched for the bike first.

There wasn't any sign of the CBR.

By then I text him saying him I've arrived.

He didn't even reply.

He took the bike away!

Just because didn't want to give it to me!

He rode the bike to somewhere else just for not giving it to me!

FUCK THAT!

So, I've lost the bike (not literally) to him for his fucking selfish attitudes.

So, what did I lose?

I lost in the world of love.

I lost the one I love.

I am too weak, I am too stupid.

What happened?

Well, I found out (she told me actually) that my gf has somebody else.

Well, it's my fault for not taking good care of her.

Hearts can change right?

Her heart has been taken by someone else.

Yet, my heart is still for her.

I still don't understand why.

My mind is full of questions.

Why why why?

sigh....

I just need an answer.

I can't let her go just like that.

I love her with all my heart.

Eventhough my heart is broken, I still believe somewhere deep in her heart, she still loves me.

I hope so.....

I swore to her and myself that I will NEVER stop loving her and I will wait for her FOREVER.

I don't care if she's with the other guy but as long as I don't lose her, I'm glad. 

I LOVE YOU, INTAN NORHASYIMAH.

What's up with the dealio?

Hey hey hey.

What's going down guys.

Well, that's me going down cause life has been sucks this 2 months.

Why?

Well, I got problems with my gf.

Got a lot of assignments.

Lack of sleep.

Lack of money.

But hey, it's a part of life.

Difficulty comes first before you can relax.

I'm not complaining but,come to think of it, I deserve all of this.

Especially with my problems with my gf.

Nothing much actually.

I'm busy and so does she.

I'm staying so far away.

But I come back every week.

I know I'm busy but I never forget about her

But, just to think of it, why doesn't she contact me at all?

Why?

Too busy?

I'm a no body, I know.

Honestly, this relationship is going no where without efforts from both side.

And honestly I say, if she doesn't want me or she got another guy that she likes, I'm willing to let her go.

As long as there are no fake stuffs going on around us.

I'm busy, I know.

But, I always find the time to call or text her.

But do I get any respond?

Nope.

Do I get any call backs?

Nope.

Okay, she may not have any credits to text me, I understand.

But, it's already 5 days and she still doesn't contact me.

Too lazy to top up or what?

Seriously Intan, if you doesn't want to continue this relationship, let me know.

Plans....

Welp...

Plans could go wrong sometimes.

But, when it all went as planned, you can say loudly, "LIKE A BOSS!".

Well, for me, not yet.

I missed the date, the day and such.

Plans are ruined because of a stupid calendar.

So, today I hope I could fix it all back.

Hopefully....

Bike problem .

Sigh*

Early morning complaints....

Well, just now I went to take out the CBR's battery to be taken to be charged.

Then, I realized all my friends said that the CBR's butt is tilted or should I say 'senget'.

Anyway, I took out the side fairings to find out why.

Then, there's a rod that supports the pillion (back rider or passenger) is broken.

I was like, okay....

Sigh...Need to go to a welding store to weld that thing back together but then again, the battery has been sent to the workshop.

I can't start the bike.

Sigh.....

So, I've decided to go and pick up the roadtax first then then pick up the battery then go weld the damn thing back together.

Easy?

I don't think so.

Need some extra cash to do all those things.

BIG SIGH*

Motorcycle Vlogging.

Wassup wassup wassup dudes and dudettes.

Yeah, I'm still alive.

Still kickin' the road....not really.

Well, the roadtax for the CBR died actually.

For almost a month now.

But 2 days ago, I went to renew it.

It costs about RM17++!

Can you believe that?!

Anyway, let's forget about that for now.

Today, I just wanna tell you guys that Andre started vlogging.

Motorcycle VLOGGING!

What's vlogging?

It's Video Blogging.

Like Anwar Hadi and Mat Luthfi but on motorcycle.

You get the picture.

So, please check out his channel and videos.

I'll put a link to his video.

Again, if you have a YouTube account please subscribe to him.

Thanks.

Having fun?

I don't wanna start a blog war here but just a simple message to you.
Please, please oh, please look at yourself.
Are you proud being like that?
You like what you did?
You're not even 18 and you're like, wanna hang out every time.
You're a woman.
Be a woman!
Don't be an idiot and think what your responsibilities are.
You're in college.
Wooo!  Time to have fun! Let's hang out together!
Seriously?
You're just saying.
Yeah I get it.
If you said it then that means you want it!
Look at your language when you're writing your blogs!
I mean, are you proud with that?
Seeing a woman talking or writing like that.
Seriously.
It's your life and I don't have rights for you?
Well, I am your boyfriend right?
Still not enough?
Well, I don't wanna get into the religious part cause I know you'll be like, yeah yeah fine.
See?


OPEN YOUR EYES
OPEN YOUR MIND