Friday, February 17, 2012

Crushing down

I stand there watching my world came crushing down one bye one.
I couldn't do anything to it cause I'm weak and helpless.
I lay down my head and think for what I've done.
I cry as my world is going for a disaster.
I watch as my friends and families bashed on me.
I listen as my hobbies and interests go away.
I let my tears running down my cheek as I saw my loved one go.

I couldn't anything even when I try.
Fixing all these makes me weaker and weaker.
As there is no one else stands behind me.
I used to be loved and I used to love and I still do.
I couldn't let my hand loosen it's grip for the one I love.
Yet, I can only watch as she walks away.
My friends and families couldn't understand me.
All they ever say was "There is someone better".
How could I find someone better when she was the best for me?
My heart chose her.
My brain agrees.
All I ever wanted is to have her back.
Even if I die trying.
I'd do anything to have the one I love.
Even if it takes eternity.
That's how much I love you Intan Norhasyimah.
Only god knows how much it is.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Lost and lose

Sup' dudes and dudettes.
It's been one month now since I went to ILP Jitra and it's freaking me out.
It's not about the education that's freaking me out.
It's what happened to me that's freaking me out.
Last week, I lost my bike (CBR) to my own brother who is too selfish for himself.
I wanted to use the CBR last week and I text him the evening before I came home but he didn't reply.
At about 8.30 pm, when we (me and my friend, Daus) were already on the way, I text him to tell that we were on the way to pick the bike up.
By then he replied back.
He's not giving the bike.
I told him that I need to use it.
He didn't reply.
We arrived at his apartment and I didn't told him that we've arrived but I went for a search instead.
We searched for the bike first.
There wasn't any sign of the CBR.
By then I text him saying him I've arrived.
He didn't even reply.
He took the bike away!
Just because didn't want to give it to me!
He rode the bike to somewhere else just for not giving it to me!
So, I've lost the bike (not literally) to him for his fucking selfish attitudes.

So, what did I lose?
I lost in the world of love.
I lost the one I love.
I am too weak, I am too stupid.
What happened?
Well, I found out (she told me actually) that my gf has somebody else.
Well, it's my fault for not taking good care of her.
Hearts can change right?
Her heart has been taken by someone else.
Yet, my heart is still for her.
I still don't understand why.
My mind is full of questions.
Why why why?

I just need an answer.
I can't let her go just like that.
I love her with all my heart.
Eventhough my heart is broken, I still believe somewhere deep in her heart, she still loves me.
I hope so.....

I swore to her and myself that I will NEVER stop loving her and I will wait for her FOREVER.

I don't care if she's with the other guy but as long as I don't lose her, I'm glad. 


Friday, February 10, 2012

What's up with the dealio?

Hey hey hey.
What's going down guys.
Well, that's me going down cause life has been sucks this 2 months.
Well, I got problems with my gf.
Got a lot of assignments.
Lack of sleep.
Lack of money.
But hey, it's a part of life.
Difficulty comes first before you can relax.
I'm not complaining but,come to think of it, I deserve all of this.
Especially with my problems with my gf.
Nothing much actually.
I'm busy and so does she.
I'm staying so far away.
But I come back every week.
I know I'm busy but I never forget about her
But, just to think of it, why doesn't she contact me at all?
Too busy?
I'm a no body, I know.
Honestly, this relationship is going no where without efforts from both side.
And honestly I say, if she doesn't want me or she got another guy that she likes, I'm willing to let her go.
As long as there are no fake stuffs going on around us.
I'm busy, I know.
But, I always find the time to call or text her.
But do I get any respond?
Do I get any call backs?
Okay, she may not have any credits to text me, I understand.
But, it's already 5 days and she still doesn't contact me.
Too lazy to top up or what?
Seriously Intan, if you doesn't want to continue this relationship, let me know.